If you have ever in your life considered leaving everything behind and starting over, somewhere new, far and different; if you ever wanted to take a chance and make that life-changing decision; and mostly, if you ever found yourself terrified of what it would mean to uproot your life and try again; I wrote this for you.
Two years ago, I made the most difficult choice of my life and decided to let go of everything I’ve ever known to move to Hungary and pursue my Bachelor’s Degree in Media and Communication studies. At only 18 years old, I found myself standing all alone in the airport of a country I knew nothing about, and since then, I’ve encountered every possible challenge.
This article is your guide on what to expect from living abroad, and how to avoid the most common mistakes!
The start
Many might think that life abroad starts when your plane lands, but I would argue that it really begins the moment in which you’re standing with an open suitcase at your feet, wondering how to fit an entire life in a 25kg bag. The first step of moving on is letting go of things you thought would stay with you forever: All the books I’ve gathered on the shelves of my childhood room, the bed I’ve slept in since I was six years old, and my mother’s most heavenly cooking. To leave is to learn how to live without the anchors that have held you steady your entire life.
True adulthood begins when you have nothing to fall back on, no unconditional support.
Perhaps the hardest part is the final goodbyes, for which I will never be too old, although the melancholy dissipates as soon as your journey starts towards your flight. Then comes the true fight.
The memory of my first few days in Hungary is one I will keep forever. No matter how many travel blogs you’ve read, the dam of emotion you feel the moment you realize you are a thousand miles from home, all by yourself, with no guiding hand and only your own instincts to follow is indescribable. There is a rush of excitement, accompanied with so much uncertainty and unfamiliarity. This is my first advice to you: always know what you’ll be arriving to. Look up transportation from the airport, be ready to handle a new currency, and don’t leave yourself any room to feel lost and confused.
Your first challenges as an expat are rooted in uncertainty and unfamiliarity. The more you know ahead of coming, the easier it is to feel safe.
Then comes the next step: settling in. Finding your accommodation, moving your stuff in and starting the process of turning a foreign space into your home. However, that takes more than just hanging your clothes in the closet. I encourage personalizing your space with décor, picture frames, posters… add your own touch and watch it transform into a place you can find peace in every day, and solace when things get difficult.
Community
If I could tell any person one thing about studying abroad, it would be this: don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. All of the opportunities I’ve had throughout my time in Hungary were paved through daring to make myself known to the people around me.
Whether it was a simple genuine compliment to a stranger, or a bold request to your professors, you need to start somewhere!
This is the harsh truth, and the beautiful thing – we are out there on our own, and the only way to change that is to take sincere and purposeful steps towards creating real connections with people.
If you have a question about the course, ask your classmate. You might have just opened the door to a friendship that will last for years. If you like someone’s outfit, tell them. You have either used a good conversation starter or simply made someone smile – and in either case, it’s a win.
The relationships you create living in a new country are unusual by nature. Throughout the months, I realized that the best friendships I formed were with people I would have never even imagined encountering, had I stayed back home.
There’s something really touching about looking at someone who comes from the other side of the world, and knowing that despite all your differences – whether cultural, religious, or linguistic – you still share the same struggles, interests, and mentality.
All the people you meet throughout your time abroad will give you something you might have not known you needed. Sometimes it’s a lasting bond, and other times, it’s a well-timed lesson. More times than you can imagine, it’s yet another step towards the path you have been searching for, and all you need is a simple initiative.
Trust me when I say this, I’ve never been one to ask for what I want. It might be some anxious nature, or the urge to prove that I could very well do things on my own. That being said, I learned the hard way that the road to get something is to ask for it, loud and proud, and try to quiet my fear of rejection no matter how difficult it seems to be.
In any case, this fear only lingers at the beginning, then slowly dissipates and bravery becomes second nature. All good things take time, and so does getting used to a brand-new existence that doesn’t resemble your lifelong built idea of how-to-be.
I have also noticed that, in foreign spaces, many people tend to stick to their little groups. Whether it was people from the same country, ethnicity, or those who share your language; it’s an instinctive choice to be surrounded only by those whom you know share similarities to you. It is perhaps an attempt to tame homesickness, or maybe a shield protecting oneself from the unforgiving unfamiliarity of the outside world.
I, too, am guilty as charged: when I first came, I found myself always sticking around Arabs, for the sole chance of being able to speak my own language after a long day of communicating in English and struggling to understand Hungarian in certain situations. The knowledge that there is a group of people who would understand my references, people whom I wouldn’t have to mentally translate things for before each sentence; was enough to grant me some stability in a shaky transition period.
However, the real mistake is when people confine themselves to this tight circle, and doesn’t attempt to branch out and meet new people. Always look for a balance: friends who provide stability and familiarity; others who provide new knowledge and exploration. We can only learn from what is unknown to us, stepping out of the comfort zone is not as impossible as it seems.
Pocket money
Many students in Veszprém seek to find ways to make pocket money while also staying on top of their studies, and there are ways to do that!
With student job organizations that make it easy to register for shifts around town, whether in restaurants or factories, you can clock in whenever you have the time and make some money to sustain your desired lifestyle.
Some students prefer finding part-time jobs, usually outside the town, like supermarkets, coffee shops or restaurants, however it does entail extra commuting.
And just like every other big step in living abroad, the only way to secure a job is through good connections and defying the fear of rejection. In many instances, it is possible for any place of work to decline your application, however, this must not discourage you from continuing your quest!
Many students actually work their way from small part-time jobs to full jobs, all through years of commitment, learning and patience. The opportunities presented to you should never be ignored, because it may just be the thing you were waiting for all along.
That being said, a lot of the time, work can mean different things depending on each person’s individual goal. While some international students prioritize having an income they could rely on, others prefer engaging in jobs to garner experience and teach them their craft – despite the salary.
In my case, I have always been passionate about different aspects of journalism, media, and the film industry, which is why I aimed to secure internships that allow me to tread into the deep waters step by step – from podcasting to written journalism and set work. It’s not wrong to prioritize experience over salary, especially since it’s a prime form of investing in one’s future and career! In this case, money will come eventually, supported by a rich resume.
Non-academic life
While it is important to focus on academia after sacrificing so much to pursue an education in a foreign land, you must not forget you are young and full of life; surrounded by opportunities. If this is your first time in Europe, make it count! And if it isn’t, then I’m certain there is plenty left to see, for wonders never cease!
With the help of a good budgeting plan, traveling around Europe is, as the French say, ‘simple comme bonjour.’ Find a couple of trusted friends, hop on a train, and let your journey begin.
As foreigners, it’s easy to get lost and overwhelmed by the sea of responsibilities to manage and images to uphold, but it’s essential to remember that this life is a sacred, fleeting thing, and nothing is as special as fun moments with friends on a late night, or quiet discoveries on solo walks. We take nothing and leave everything, and what we’ll remember, in the far future, is not the incessant hours spent revising for a test (no matter how important that is) but the moments in which we were not bound by anything except joy and laughter.
So, my word of advice is: go out, have fun, make friends, meet strangers and travel as much as you can. I regret all the time I spent wallowing in my bedroom, knowing that with some planning and forethought, I could be enjoying a cold drink on some shore across the continent. Your dreams are within reach, so don’t be scared to extend your hand and take everything you possibly can.
To quote the Arab poet Mahmoud Darwish:
و نحن نحب الحياة اذا ما استطعنا اليها سبيلا
And we love life if we can find a way to it
So, find your way, and make the best of all the good years. Be the most honest version of yourself, smile, laugh and cry; but most importantly? Don’t let life pass you by only to regret it later.
In a nutshell…
To take this risk; to accept the challenge that is studying abroad, might be scary at first; confusing and unfamiliar. However, with time, you’ll find out that it is the best decision anyone can make in their young adulthood.
This experience provides us the chance of exploring the world through the lens of early adulthood, not kids who lack knowledge and wiseness anymore; though not yet adults who have been burdened by life’s never-ending responsibilities. There is a special fire that comes with this phase of one’s life – a thirst for living to the fullest, and we should take every advantage of it.
I recommend this experience to anyone who has the slightest bit of curiosity in their heart about the world, you will not regret it.
I hope that my experiences and advice can be of any help to you, and I wish you all a fulfilling experience, a journey of self-discovery and many good memories to keep forever!
Happy packing, safe travels, and may you have a really fun time abroad!
